Chilli/Tomato weirdness

Plymouth Herald: Man claims he planted tomatoes, but got chillis

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

Spotter's Badge: Jon

ET Weirdness

Rossendale Free Press: Man finds ET in his coffee table

I don't know about you, but I'm getting traces of Ninja Turtle.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Bad E-fit

Folkestone Herald: This man has done some bad things

Amongst them the heinous crime of wearing a flat cap several sizes too small. Also, having no arms.

Don't have nightmares.

Dogging pick-up spot weirdness

Exeter Daily: Village toilets closed after man going for a wee propositioned by bearded man in a wedding dress

Seriously - dude, take a shave.

Run over by his own car weirdness

Falmouth Packet: Man run by his own car in Penryn town centre

Seriously --- you are small. Your car is big and heavy. If it decides to run off downhill on its own, don't try to stop it. You will die.

Reduced to clear weirdness

North Devon Journal: Police called to brawl over discounted chicken and mushroom slice

Luckily, they were in the doughnut aisle at the time.

Spotter's Badge: Mick

Judge's unfortunate turn of phrase weirdness

Gainsborough Standard: One-legged animal porn pervert told he has 'walked into trouble'

The pervert is the one with only one leg, not the animals. Because that would be WEIRD.

Spotter's Badge: Michael