Alan Shearer Weirdness

Chronicle Live: Could Alan Shearer stop roadworks in Newcastle?

No.

Spotter's Badge: Huw

Hole in one weirdness

UPI.com: Serial pooper targets Norwegian golf course

If affected, you may take a free drop. Or even use a new ball, I dunno

Spotter's Badge: Mark

ISIS recruitment weirdness

Epping Forest Guardian: Idiots don't get the joke over clearly fake Islamic State posters

I mean --- The Daily Express?!

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Naked cyclists vs British Legion weirdness

Clacton and Frinton Gazette: Veterans didn't fight in a World War to see people riding about in the nip

Hitler was an avowed naked cyclist, you see.

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Hand shandy weirdness

The NT News: Furious masturbator slapped with a month's jail

How furious was he? On a scale of one to ten?

Spotter's Badge: Cynthia

Quite a lot of birds weirdness

Southport Visiter no really they spell it like that: Is this the most birds ever seen on one roof?

Top tip: Don't try to tile your house with toast.

Spotter's Badge: Matthew

Toasted dentures weirdness

Northern Territory News: Woman confirms urban myth about her dentures falling into a hotel toaster is true

Well, glad that's sorted.

Big cat weirdness double bill

Plymouth Herald: "I was nearly run down by a giant panther," claims Stan Lee

It was a cat, Stan.

 

Manchester Evening News: Police called over report of panther chasing deer

It was a cat, Sherlock.

Spotter's Badge: Ed, Danielle

Spud criminal weirdness

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: With all other crime solved, police now cracking down on people riding around on mopeds with potatoes

Potatoes and mopeds are just a gateway drug. Before you know it, they're zooming around on a 1,000cc monster with a sack of watermelons.

Spotter's Badge: Jaykay Growling