Monster sausage weirdness

Derby Telegraph: Hey ladies, look at my 20-metre sausage

Accidental sausage, my arse.

Spotter's Badge: Jon S

Country music weirdness

Irish Times: Country music fan gets free tickets after neighbour (and fan of good taste) breaks his window over constant playing of country music

Ireland and country music. I'll never get it.

Spotter's Badge: Chester

Pizza dinner gets out of control weirdness

Exeter Express and Echo: Armed police called after argument over wrong pizza toppings gets nasty

Good thing they didn't mention the missing garlic bread

Stolen teeth weirdness

Bexhill Observer: Seagull steals pensioner's dentures

Perhaps the most exciting thing to have happened in Bexhill since Spike Milligan was stationed there during the war

Spotter's Badge: Lawrence

Slow speed swan chase weirdness

Lincolnshire Echo: SWAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

"Swans are large birds who potentially could take a child's eye out."

Think of the kiddiewinks!

Hull werewolf weirdness

Hull Daily Mail: National press goes mad for story about 'werewolf' being spotted in Hull

It'll just be this: Somebody from Hull

Spotter's Badge: Finton

Crudely-drawn cock weirdness

Stroud News and Journal: 'Wanksy' strikes again in pothole protest

Quality nob-work.

Spotter's Badge: Steve

Bird of prey Question to Which the Answer is NO

Kent Online: Have you lost a hawk?

No. I have not.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

'Planted' animal porn weirdness

This is Lancashire: Grandfather claims police planted animal porn DVD in his flat

Do you know which other completely innocent party had problems with porn "planted" by The Man?

Spotter's Badge: Murray

Very neat parking weirdness

Hull Daily Mail: Car parked on roundabout

Well done. Take the rest of the day off.

Spotter's Badge: L0wey

Stolen trousers weirdness

Westmorland Gazette: Police probe theft of tracksuit bottoms

Lost trousers? That number again: 999

Spotter's Badge: James

Stabbed a tram shelter weirdness

Nottingham Post: Drunk mature student escapes jail for stabbing a tram shelter

Doesn't sound very mature to me.

Spotter's Badge: Jon S

Not a sandwich weirdness

Mid Sussex Times: Diners "furious" that wraps have been included in sandwiches section of menu at local garden centre cafe

I'd stick clear of the area until the blows over. Could go nuclear any day.

Spotter's Badge: Pete

Moving walkway weirdness

Sheffield Star: Self-appointed expert designs moving walkway to get people to the city centre quicker

Every now and again a local newspaper throws up a local lunatic's unworkable plans for a mass transit schmeme. You've got to hand it to this guy - at least it's not a monorail.

It's always a monorail.

Spotter's Badge: Jon S

Stolen rocks dullness and weirdness two for the price of one

Hemel Today: Rocks which look like Christmas puddings stolen from churchyard

I'm assuming this is the 'after' shot, or we're all being had.

Spotter's badge: Thomas

Exploding tea towels weirdness

Gloucestershire Echo: Exploding towels cause huge fire at pub

HINT: When you buy your tea towels, don't buy them from somebody called Bombmaker Barry.

Spotter's Badge: Andy

Found an ear w-ear-edness

Nuneaton News: Ear found in Nuneaton

But there was none eaten. Also, it was not a real ear. Also also, false ears are a thing.

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Crap blackmail weirdness

Kent Online: Man with Tic-Tac habit attempts to blackmail woman on her wedding day

Man, those things are like crack.

Spotter's Badge: Pamela

Even more big cat weirdness

Rugby Advertiser: Is there a big cat on the loose in Hillmorton?

No, it's a normal-sized one photographed from really really close-up.

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Killer Seagull weirdness

Dover Express: Gull grabs gran's head

Was it fatal? Who knows?

Spotter's Badge: Adam, Sue

Using your dead friend as fishing bait weirdness

Hull Daily Mail: Men use their dead friend's ashes as fishing bait, catch a whopper

It's what he would have wanted.

Spotter's Badge: Christopher

Local insult that's worth £635 in the courts weirdness

Fleetwood Today: On no account should you call a resident of Fleetwood a "fat-bellied cod-head". They don't like it

For one, they might actually be a fat-bellied cod-head.

Spotters' Badge: Karen

Man in his pants anger

Get Surrey: Why was this man exercising in his pants by the side of the A3?

You mean nobody stopped to ask? I'm sure he's perfectly sane and definitely not an axe murderer

Spotter's Badge: Christine

Prince tribute in meat form weirdness

Plymouth Herald: Butcher pays tribute to committed vegan rock star Prince with purple sausages

Well done, but now you've got PETA angry.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Bad e-fit

Hull Daily Mail: This member of the Village People has done some bad things

"I'm not really a welder, you know"

Don't have nightmares.

Nominative determinism weirdness

Western Telegraph: John Thomas prosecuted for 'sending pictures of his John Thomas to a student'

What a dick.

Spotter's Badge: Stephen

More big cat weirdness

Worksop Guardian: Is this a big cat the size of an Alsatian on the roof of a house in Worksop?

No. It's just a cat.

Spotter's Badge: Graeme

Got the squirts weirdness

Lincolnshire Echo: Lincolnshire in the top five areas in England for getting diarrhoea

Shit yeah! Our lack of food hygiene RULES!

Spotter's Badge: Jonathan R

Bad E-fit

Northampton Chronicle & Echo: This man has done some bad things

...most of them in Gotham City, to be honest.

Don't have nightmares.

Spotter's Badge: Mike, Steve

Orange underpants weirdness

Bath Chronicle: This is happening on the outskirts of Bath

Calvins. None of your cheap schumtter.

Spotter's Badge: Chris

Fussy eater weirdness

Portsmouth News: Man only ever eats sausage and chips

Also, chips with sausages.

(Note that his kitchen appears to be completely empty)

Spotter's Badge: Luke

Nuisance ducks and goats running amok weirdness

Eastern Daily Press: Swaffham evicts 44 'nuisance' ducks

...coming into people's homes, demanding bread with menaces.

Spotter's Badge: Gareth

Cheddar Valley Gazette: Goats amok in the Cheddar Gorge


One resident, who does not wish to be named, said it has become so bad she could cry.

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte