Pheasant attack weirdness

Belfast Telegraph: Pheasant attacks jogger

I could tell straight away it was a bad'un. Look at the face mask

Spotter's Badge: Norbet, Everybody

Not a snake in a bin weirdness

Manchester Evening News: RSPCA called to deal with large snake in bin

It was a canine brown snake.

Spotter's Badge: Charlotte

Not actually a dead body weirdness

Liverpool Echo: Police close off entire road, mystery object subsequently found to be a doll

But it was this doll*, so AAAARGH.

Spotter's Badge: Mal

*Actually a lie

Brass band competition weirdness

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Police called after attempt to fix Yorkshire Brass Band Championships

This is the most Yorkshire story ever.

Spotter's Badge: David

Horse tail dullness/weirdness crossover

Lancashire Evening Post: Police tape stock photo rolled out after somebody plaits horse tail during the night

Tail-plaiting is a gateway drug. Next thing you know it's heroin.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Dog poo weirdness

Kentish Express: Kentish Express makes eye contact with local idiot who says their dog has written a letter to other dogs about picking up their turds
 
No. No she didn't.

Mystery hole weirdness

Bucks Herald: Mystery hole with steps appears in front garden

Moles. Or zombies. Or mole vampire zombies.

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Missing cat helicopter weirdness

Farnborough News and Mail: Film makers smuggle cat onto helicopter, lose cat

"You just don't mix cats with helicopters"

So very, very true.

Message left in dog poo weirdness

Kent Messenger: Somebody stuck a passive-aggressive note in a dog shit

If you're going to make all that effort, at least learn to spell.

(And as one comment points out, the sign itself constitutes litter)

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Showroom dummy weirdness

Driffield Today: Mannequin in house window freaking people out a bit

Which is - of course - what it's there for.

Pork weirdness

Epping Forest Guardian: Pig escapes, gets as far as yoga class

Let's see it escape from this BACON SANDWICH oh god I've gone too far.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Probably normal for Islington weirdness

Islington Now: Man goes shopping in his pants

Witness "worrying where he kept his money"

Spotter's Badge: Matt

Student microwave weirdness

Aberdeen Evening Express: Row over when students are allowed to use microwave oven ends up in local paper because reasons

Wait... they let students eat these days?

Spotter's Badge: David

Drug serach weirdness

Southern Daily Echo: Police search house for drugs, find kittens instead

KITTENS ON DRUGS

Spotter's Badge: Emily

Racist car weirdness

Brighton Argus: (Actual headline) Child in hospital after being hit by Japanese car

Damn Japanese cars, coming over here, running over our kiddiewinks

Spotter's Badge: Angel

Serial parking ticket weirdness

Portsmouth News: Driver gets parking ticket while in court for using his deceased wife's disabled parking permit

This story features some of the worst excuses for illegal parking you will ever hear.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Dog funeral weirdness

North Wales Daily Post: Dead dog flown halfway round the world so it can have a funeral with hearse, prayers and the whole nine yards in Wales

Wow. I'm not even going to take the mick, because this is just so weirdly sweet. Weird, but sweet.

Spam weirdness

Liverpool Echo: Man changes his middle name to 'I love Spam'

...because he's a maniac.

Spotter's Badge: Matthew

Pub dogging weirdness

Manchester Evening News: Go dogging in this pub landlady's car park? You manky old spunker - here's the underwear you left behind

I support this initiative.

Spotter's Badge: Tom

Chilli/Tomato weirdness

Plymouth Herald: Man claims he planted tomatoes, but got chillis

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

Spotter's Badge: Jon

ET Weirdness

Rossendale Free Press: Man finds ET in his coffee table

I don't know about you, but I'm getting traces of Ninja Turtle.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Bad E-fit

Folkestone Herald: This man has done some bad things

Amongst them the heinous crime of wearing a flat cap several sizes too small. Also, having no arms.

Don't have nightmares.

Dogging pick-up spot weirdness

Exeter Daily: Village toilets closed after man going for a wee propositioned by bearded man in a wedding dress

Seriously - dude, take a shave.

Run over by his own car weirdness

Falmouth Packet: Man run by his own car in Penryn town centre

Seriously --- you are small. Your car is big and heavy. If it decides to run off downhill on its own, don't try to stop it. You will die.

Reduced to clear weirdness

North Devon Journal: Police called to brawl over discounted chicken and mushroom slice

Luckily, they were in the doughnut aisle at the time.

Spotter's Badge: Mick

Judge's unfortunate turn of phrase weirdness

Gainsborough Standard: One-legged animal porn pervert told he has 'walked into trouble'

The pervert is the one with only one leg, not the animals. Because that would be WEIRD.

Spotter's Badge: Michael