Womble death weirdness

York Press: Womble destroyed in house fire

It was Orinoco, if you're interested. He was the one expelled from the burrow in Wimbledon after introducing Madame Cholet to crack cocaine. It's been downhill for the lad ever since, a lesson to us all on the consequences of mixing with the wrong crowd.

GHOSTBUSTERS! weirdness

Derby Telegraph: Everybody ends up with brown trousers as robbers raid local shop while ghost hunters investigate inside

I've asked one of the country's leading ghost hunters about this, and she says she would have shat herself as well.

Spotter's Badge: Nowtas

Meanwhile, in Iceland weirdness

MBL.is: Goose craps in policeman's pocket

Could happen to anybody.

Mobility scooter weirdness

Swindon Advertiser: Gran fights off thief with mobility scooter

“He had a white baseball cap on his head back to front, which isn’t the right way to wear it"
 
Listen to your gran, you little thug.
 
Spotter's Badge: Les

Mr Nottingham weirdness

Nottingham Post: Mr Nottingham winner chosen from these fine specimens

It's no use, let's just nuke the entire city and start over again.

Spotter's Badge: Lucy

Adult nappy supermarket weirdness

Plymouth Herald: Man in adult nappy goes to Tesco

Don't worry everybody, it's just BANTZ.

Giant wang weirdness

Gloucestershire Echo: Giant todger appears on hilltop

I, for one, welcome our new giant hampton overlords

Massive badger weirdness (not sexy slang)

Western Daily Press: Man spooked by badger 'the size of a pig'

"He was the size of a pig, with teeth about six inches long. They were as long as a lemonade bottle is wide."

Right.

Spotter's Badge: David

Batman weirdness

Essex Echo: Batman sells his mobility scooter on Ebay

I'm not entirely convinced by those muscles. I dare say the benefits people will find him fit for work looking as ripped as that.

Spotter's Badge: Barry

U-Boat weirdness

Cumbria Crack: U-Boat captain jailed for VAT fraud

I know a bit about the Battle of the Atlantic, and I'm pretty convinced that's not a genuine U-Boat.

Spotter's Badge: Neil

Unfortunate picture weirdness

Eastern Daily Press: Too late, they've changed it

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Big hole weirdness

Watford Observer: Has a giant rabbit dug this hole in a Watford back garden?

No. You idiots.

Spotter's Badge: TRT

God-botherer Jesus-creeper weirdness

Ipswich Star: Vicar refused entry into bar because he's wearing sandals

The man isn't wearing socks with them, which - in our book - makes them perfectly acceptable. Carry on padre, socks and sandals are off the Devil.

Park bench plaque weirdness

Waltham Forest Guardian: Who's leaving these weird plaques on park benches?

Top quality trolling, whoever you are.

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Snake on the loose in Rochdale weirdness

Manchester Evening News: Teenager finds six-foot snake in her bathroom

Send money so she can afford clothes, the poor girl.

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Drunken Nominative Determinism weirdness

Border Mail: Man called Cham Payne jailed over drunken rampage

Alas, his poison was stubbies of beer. How the mighty have fallen

Spotter's Badge: Les

The old "I'm going to a funeral" excuse weirdness

Hartlepool Mail: Mayor tells his day-job boss that he's going to a funeral, but goes off to do mayor stuff instead, undone by picture of him doing mayor stuff in the papers

MAYORS: Do not try this, you will get the sack.

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Stabbed in the bum weirdness

Norwich Evening News: Man stabbed in the actual bum

BUM, screengrabbed for your convenience

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Touched by his noodly appendage weirdness

Brighton Argus: Pastafarian wants to wear his holy colander on his head for his driving licence photo

Are those terrific sideboards not enough already? And unfortunately, this chap springs to mind...

Spotter's Badge: Christina, Sarah

Naked shop rampage weirdness

Dundee Courier: Naked man runs amok in Toys 'Я' Us

As you do.

Spotter's Badge: Jenny

Big cat sighting species error weirdness

Kent and Sussex Courier: 'Big cat' sightings in Ashdown Forest 'probably a dog'

Easy mistake to make. Big shiny nose, waggy tail, cocking its leg up a tree, shouting 'woof' at passers-by. Cat.

The 1950s finally arrive in Cornwall weirdness

Falmouth Packet: Penryn knobbly knees contest

Just give it to the man in the socks and sandals and be done with it.

Die-hard football fans weirdness

South Wales Evening Post: Swansea City coffin drape, because they clearly haven't suffered enough

Why are they called die-hards? Because you can't get the coffin lid down.

When animals attack weirdness

NT News: Crocodile 'expert' bitten on the nose by crocodile

Hardly Steve Irwin, is it?

Spotter's Badge: Les

Lucky escape for ducks weirdness

Eastern Daily Press: Ducks not burned to a crisp in a barn fire because there were no ducks there

Well, that's good.

Google Earth Weirdness

Bexley News Shopper: This photo PROVES that ghosts exist, claims woman citing pictures from that most reliable of sources, Google Earth

No. No it doesn't.

Spotter's Badge: Richard

Submarine weirdness

Hemel Today: Not entirely sure what's going on here

But Vladimir Putin's just called and he says he's annexed Hemel Hempstead.

Road sign prank weirdness

Reading Post: Road sign pranksters strike again

Local knowledge: That road is like the surface of the moon, so not far wrong.

Bald Jesus weirdness

Brighton Argus: At least four rival Jesuses to get nailed up over the Easter period in the Brighton area, some might even be resurrected on Sunday. We're not sure yet

It's early doors yet, but I suspect this site will have more than its fair share of stories from the Argus, because Brighton.

Sea cadet weirdness

Coventry Telegraph: Sea cadets get new gates at their headquarters

...and realise far too late that they were designed to keep them in, rather than keep tresspassers out. They're still there.

Spotter's Badge: Rob R

Pig rescue weirdness

Bournemouth Echo: Pig rescued from swimming pool

NO BACON LEFT BEHIND

(And you've got to admit, that's the sketchiest swimming pool you're ever likely to see. Even swamps have clearer water than that)